Although both undoubtedly lived in Dundee at the same time, there is no record of McGonagall and Scott ever having met. However, what if Scotland's celebrated (worst) poet felt inclined to give an account of Capt. Scott’s story?
Captain Robert Falcon Scott RN 
Considered himself most fortunate of men
An expedition to Antarctica had just been planned
And the whole kit and caboodle would come under his command.
A new century had just begun 
And many discoveries were yet to be done 
The South Pole for example was there for the taking 
With a place in history ready for making.
A ship both tough and strong, as his needs be 
Could only be built in the fair city of Dundee 
So a contract was placed, and a price was set 
51,000 quid the Panmure Shipyard would get.
Built of oak and elm, with all a craftsman could put in it 
A cozy corner was selected for the golden rivet 
Launched by Lady Markham (her husband had put the dosh up) 
They then all went to the Queens Hotel for one hell of a nosh up.
Provisions were loaded for 45 good men and true 
All hand picked by Scott to make up the crew 
Rum, bum, and baccy was the order of the day 
Well, with no women on board, it had to be that way.
In June 1901, Discovery put to sea 
Saying a final farewell to Bonnie Dundee
A stop over in London was the first interjection 
So that Edward the seventh could give an inspection.
45 sheep were the next passengers to board 
Taken on in New Zealand to replenish the hoard 
The crew licked their lips with wry anticipation 
Giving the more handsome of ewes quite some trepidation.
Upon finally settling in Antarctica the following year 
They began to sort out some of the gear 
They dug out 'Eva' a blow up contraption 
Then prepared themselves for some exiting action.
Captain Scott was first, high in the balloon to soar 
Another first for the region to score 
700ft. above, he surveyed the desolate sight 
Home for the next two years to be their plight.
Diligently they set about their task 
A plethora of scientific knowledge for to grasp 
But the long winter nights would have been a bit of a drag 
If it wasn't for a plentiful supply of good old navy shag.
In November, it was decided to go to the Pole 
Scott, Wilson, and Shackelton took the hazardous stroll 
Passing latitude 80 things started to slip 
Frostbite and Scurvy forcing them back to the ship.
The ice finally cleared, and blessing the almighty 
They sailed for a triumphant return to good old Blighty. 
Discovery arrived at Spithead in 1904 
26 months aft and a rapturous home coming fore.
Six years later, Scott to the South Pole returned 
this time his attempt by the Norwegians was spurned 
Under 50ft of snow he now lies at rest 
with a place in history among the best.
Now the Discovery has finally come home 
Never more the seven seas to roam 
happy to be berthed at Discovery Quay 
Right in the center of Bonnie Dundee.
In deference to the Master, I include a couple of original 
Verses from William McGonagall. Here he pays tribute to he 
Town of Nairn in the north east of Scotland 
All ye tourists who wish to be away 
From the crowded city for a brief holiday 
The town of Nairn is worth a visit, I do confess 
And its only about 15 miles from Inverness. 
And in conclusion I will say for good bathing Nairn is best
And the climate gives health to many visitors while there
Therefore I would recommend Nairn for balmy pure air.


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