Christmas Newsletter

Hi,

My friends will know that I normally include a newsletter with Christmas Cards during this season of goodwill and cheer.
“All very right and proper” you hear my cry of contentment, but let’s face it, who necessarily has the time or inclination to read a lengthy report in the middle of the Christmas crisis? (Last minute shopping, family arrangements, getting your own cards out, etc. etc.), and then again, who gives a damn anyway? To be honest, although we receive one or two reciprocal newsletters, I get little feedback, and I’m not sure if my words are falling on deaf ears or if they are being devoured with great satisfaction. So, I thought I’d try something different – A Xmas Blog!! – It can be ignored, browsed at leisure, and even commented on. You may also note that I have utilized the medium to expand things a little, and bore you even more – Click on any of the photos to enlarge.



I know!!! I Know!!! Looking back isn’t necessarily a good idea. Look what happened to Lot’s Wife (Depicted in this sculpture by Hamo Thornycroft taken on a visit to the Victorian & Albert this year) – just think of that the next time you sprinkle salt on your chips. Anyway, let’s go for it, perhaps Sodom wasn’t that bad?

The year started (or should I say, the last one ended) with my farewell to the BMF. Here you see Managing Director Chris Pateman showing me the door of 15 Soho Square!! – An unusual retirement present I’m sure you’ll agree, but I always did admired it. Final retirement crept up and hijacked me - am I ready to be put out to pasture? I did enjoy my time at the Builders Merchants Federation though, as I said in one of my farewell speeches “giving me this job was like giving a kid the keys to Toys R Us”. A whole box of exciting new challenges to delve into and develop. I must say, the more I pushed the limits, the more enthusiastically the Members responded, rendering speeches with personal embellishment, publishing my zany articles, supporting functions, it was great fun. Sheila and I have retained many personal friendships from that period, and I must say, the parting gifts were extremely generous.

February saw the start (and end) of my ‘thespian’ career.

The Stephen Daldry version ‘An Inspector Calls’ is an extremely spectacular production – Rain on the stage, explosions, buildings collapsing – They needed extras (Supernumeraries to you), I volunteered and was accepted. What a wonderful experience, treading the boards (or at least standing in a corner surrounded by smoke) of Glasgow’s Theatre Royal with such talented, friendly, cast members and fellow extras. I was ever so excited when advised that a group of ladies from New Kilpatrick Church (where we dance) were to review my performance at one of the matinees. I positioned myself at the exit to wallow in their praise as they came out, only to be almost mowed down as, waving their passes, they rushed across the road to catch an oncoming bus. Someone did ask for my autograph, perhaps he thought I was Alex Ferguson (Believe it or not, I’ve been mistaken for him a few times – An American accosted me on the London Tube in July, pestering me to let him know what I was going to do with the money I got for Ronaldo, he finally went away happy when I confided that I had my eye on Beckham). Anyway, another stitch in life’s rich tapestry, and the accumulation of a new group of friends.




Spring ‘sprung’ once again in Milngavie with the perennial appearance of a peculiar phenomenon unique to our neighbourhood – Skunk Cabbage – Eh?
This plant grows with perfusion just along the road, and I did a little tale in my usual style (it has an abnormal flower and smell) for the local rag entitled ‘The Skunk Cabbage Patch’. Now, the whole thing mushroomed throughout local and national press with headlines such as ‘Alien Plants Invade Milngavie’ – ‘Day of the Triffids’ – ‘Big Stink in the Suburbs’ – ‘Ex Construction Worker (me?) discovers source of pong while walking his dog (I don’t have one)’ Do people take me too seriously? This photo was taken by the National Press Association and appeared on the front page of the METRO. I have had a number of articles on various subjects published all over the place this year – They don’t PAY!!! – Often steal the credit, and edit (what they consider) the naughty bits. Most of them don’t even acknowledge receipt, and I get to hear that pictures or stories have been published in my ignorance. I did get a very nice bottle of malt whisky from the Scottish Field Magazine though – They even published the article unabridged with full credit – They’ll get more (Oh!! they did,and another bottle has just arrived – Cheers!!).

Pondering over ‘What’s on in London’ in advance of an intended visit to Patrick’s in July – There it was – The biggest event of the year – The Gay Pride Festival – Not only that, they were looking for Stewards (You don’t have to be Gay). On presenting myself at the registration point (they were expecting me), I was asked very nicely to assume the role of a ‘Senior Steward’ – Given a small team (quickly augmented), a megaphone, radio, and assigned one of the crucial points on the route – The emergency services ‘Cross -Over’ half way down Regent Street. My initial plan of simply observing the parade from an advantaged position had become a major responsibility. When I tell you that the event accommodated over a million people, and the parade took about two hours to pass, you’ll appreciate the scale we’re on. It was an exhausting day, full of funny, serious, and tragic incidents. One I’ll relate: - From the back of the crowd a very agitated Italian School Teacher indicated that she had around 40 adolescent pupils who just had to get across. The next time there was a lull in the pace of the parade, I asked the oncoming group to hold while the gates were opened and the teacher led her troupe through. Unfortunately, while my attention was distracted, things started to move again encompassing around 15 kids in the march. Bemused, the youngsters followed on relishing the applause of the spectators. In getting them rounded up and back, I missed the participants that I particularly wanted to meet – The ‘Gay Gordons’ Country Dance group. I must say, the event was exceptionally well organized and controlled (200 Stewards), the only time I saw any police was at the Mall, where a ring of steel protected us from a group of radical Christians condemning us to Hell. I have been invited to participate in a higher administrative role next year and ‘World Pride’ the year after. I look forward again to working with such a professional, efficient, and friendly group of people.

Listen!! – That’s enough about me – Is there anyone else in this family?
The other half and I have holidayed mostly in London this year – Cheap Flights (City Airport). Cheap digs (Patrick’s flat in Docklands) and lots to do. I enjoy Theatre, Museums, Art Galleries, Exhibitions - Sheila likes shopping. Patrick drags me around the pubs in the East (and West) End, it’s a strain, but I put up with it – What are fathers for? We are still very much involved in Scottish Country Dancing (dance till we drop, sometimes six days a week). So, most of our social life revolves around reeling and jigging with fellow aficionados, the News of the World hasn’t cottoned on to us yet, otherwise they would certainly be forced to give their excuses and leave. Ian continues to slog away at the Buchanan Galleries, supervising a team of enthusiastic Polish table cleaners (Znakomity nadzorca). Patrick is now back at the Bank of England (Paramedics didn’t suit him). Interesting and varied work, but unfortunately isn’t allowed to take any of it home with him, he is however looking forward to his first million pound bonus.

Let me finally, wish you all the best for the festive season, and leave you with this view of Buchanan Street the other day. Glasgow is proud of its Christmas decorations, very attractive, but don’t expect to see any photos.